Judge Me Tender

I was so inspired by Lady GaGa on 60 minutes last Sunday. I mean, it wasn't exactly what I expected, but it was a pleasant surprise.

Ironically a piece about judgement starts with one... 

When I think "rock and roll" my little brain pictures lots of leather, trashy clothes, cocaine, cigarrette smoke, casual sex, and lewd lyrics. If you catched the entire interview, GaGa didn't disappoint including all the above elements in the 3 months it took to shoot the segment. She showed advance maturity for her (reported) 25 years and remained genuine with her emotions; humble about her celebrity. I noticed how no question seemed to catch her off guard. As if she was expecting to be asked about her sex life, early drug use, and super provocative sense of style. She explained that there are plenty of perceptions about her as a person and an artist. And if you're looking for something to talk about, she's not going to make you dig. She's laying all out for us on a platter. Her music is all about self acceptance and empowering the missundersood. I really appreciated all 12 plus hours of filming for the crew to edit, sharing intimate footage, her first apartment, and her favorite bars. Offering to us her world and life with us.

I feel I can relate so well to this frame of thinking because that's exactly how I feel about my writing. I never wanted to be a "blogger"; sharing elaborate pieces of pure randomness. But throughout the years, I've been in plenty of interesting situations, seen enough drama, and I'm ready to be done with the burdens of judgement from others. It seems that most would be considered guilty of whatever was being said about them in the street. The facts of the matter are irrelevant, and the stigma that serves as entertainment for the masses, is a handicap for the person in question. Writing is my freedom with the blank page playing the playground for my words. I set the tone and beat the critics to what they think they know about me and my current situation(s).


So why air dirty laundry? Why put yourself out there like that? There's a saying that goes: "that which is most personal is most common". As I write my wrongs, I not only forgive myself for poor choices, I help liberate someone else to do the same. I'm not always right, but I don't always fuck up. This is my story. My declaration of personal independence. And I am proud to say: I no longer depend on your judgement.

Photo Op: St. Thomas

Lemonade

My Dad was an accountant for the IRS. The job that everyone from my elementary school teach to the pastor at our church respected and feared at the same time. There was always this elusiveness about his duties, which I could tell from my parents dinner conversation, were very stressful. He was responsible for looking into shady transactions and sometimes be the one to deliver a pink slip to a fellow co worker. He was an auditor. "The bad guy", and that so wasn't the person that everyone who knew him, was. His daily uniform consisted of a well made suit, suspenders, tie. Overcoat with a matching hat, and Ray Ban sunglasses. Lol. He was the type of Dad that was super efficient and crushed on by too many of my girl friends growing up. Now what's a fun loving kind of guy like my Dad doing with a job that will make people deal with him with the same care as a ruthless politician?

How to Survive the New Years

Fucking procrastinators, smh I tell ya, I don't know why people wait until December 31st to get their lives together! I know folks got things to do but damn. Why add stress on top of obligation? Don't  mind me, I'm not an asshole, I just joke a lot. I can speak with this kind of confidence because I just stopped caring about countdowns, resolutions, and the lot. Personally, all it does is remind me how old I'm getting, lol. But for most, I know there's a lot of pressure around the holidays: toys for the kids, bomb food for the family, and clothes to club in. Then there's the NEW YEAR!

Yikes. I know. The thought of "starting over" can raise a level of anxiety even the coolest person didn't know existed, but before you beat yourself up by thinking of how bad 2010 was do me a favor and breath! Since stress is the response of actual [mostly imagined] emotional or physical threats, let's find a better way of handling the inevitable.  I hate when people gripe and complain about a situation and offer no solution so I thought of some ways the panicked pron ed can ease their way into 2011. I hope they help...

On a Jet Plane

I'm leaving.
I've been visiting with my mom and nieces for the past 3 months in Ohio figuring out my next move in life. The 72 acres with a pond and fields of oak tress and flowers was refreshing from city life... at first. But the leaves have been replaced with icicles, the ground is covered in white, and personally, I don't see much of a future working at Wal- Mart. My everyday routine centered around my young nieces schedules, exhausting my little mind as well as stifling my creativity.  But I'm thankful to spend this time with them and thankful I was afforded the space and time to plan what's next.

Get Ya Channel On!

Taking on a new persona makes us feel powerful, no doubt! Not saying that being you isn't enough, but its a fair statement to say that we have become creatures of immense change. Constantly evolving into who and what we want to be; which is challenged daily by peers, work, and technology.

Snuggie Sutra

I suppose there are some of us that actually do IT with the lights off. People who are ashamed of their bodies and what they do with them behind closed doors... for whatever reason. Thankfully I'm not one of those people! Lol. But if you happen to be a woman who doesn't like to be looked at while she's performing oral sex or a man with a less than desired physique and don't want to feel self conscious about it, they've got something new out on the market to make your situation go away! Or at least let you have sex with the lights on again!

The Other Dark Meat

I have a home boy. Who I love to debate with. Because he always has a response that will make you reach back into your own personal almanac [of random but relevant information] just to keep up with the conversation. Daily I can rely on him to say something that will prompt that subject for our lunch meeting. The topic usually being men vs. women, with each of us representing our personal sides. There's talk of our recent relationships, jokes about pop culture, discussions on world issues, networking our resources, and a couple of flare ups... where we have to change the subject before someone loses an eye!

Even though we mostly agree to disagree, we both consider ourselves a part of the small percentage of people who still view the dynamics between men and women in a traditional way. I was telling him about a conversation I had with a male interest of mine. We had finally gotten to the point where we felt comfortable for me to spend the night, and during our conversation [and my preparation], I had mentioned that I was wrapping my then, pressed hair. This black man proceeded to tell me that if I wasn't going to sleep in his bed with a scarf on my head. At first I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but after listening to the frankness in his voice... I knew it was no joke. I laughed a little and proceeded to ask if he had a satin pillow case. His answer was no. Again, this was no joke. WTF?

I've seen comments on twitter and heard things from black men over the years about the things they don't like about black women. I've heard complaints that range from our appearance and beauty routines, to our bodies. Which I find, a little hurtful, because I am a black woman, and a little ridiculous because it's so contradictory. I'm not bashing on the men who decide to date outside of their race because they honestly have a connection, I'm talking to the men who think that any other race is better to date          than a black woman. I've read articles in magazines about black men going in groups to places like Rio de Janeiro and the Dominican Republic, to pay for sex from a voluptuous woman who makes these transactions everyday.
When I encounter one of these guys or find myself being told "why I can't date a black girl [me]", I can't help but to ask why. What is it about a black woman that makes it so difficult to love everything about us? The general consensus is mostly:

•  our 'attitude', and the size of it [which I really think refers to our temper or tolerance]
• our inability to "shut the fuck up" [but I don't think anyone would after being asked like that]
• the lack of domestic skills [which most of us hide because the concept of dating is a joke]
• presentation [wearing boy shorts, heels, full make up, and fresh hair just cause takes time away from completing other things and takes a lot of money! and most of y'all opinion of 'fine' is warped]

They go on to tell me how they need a Latin or Asian woman because they're the "type that know how to treat a man'. Or give me the cliche comment about them producing "pretty babies". True, it's more common in their culture for the woman to play a more submissive role in their relationship. And they are taught things like cooking and how to keep a house early. But most of these women I'm describing live in the smaller cities that surround the major ones. Women who grew up in multi member families in small facilities with the dream of being the one who moves out of their neighborhood to live well, and not because they found love. Please believe, the modern Latin, White, Asian, and Indian woman has the ability of producing just as much 'tude as we.

I will admit, that there are a lot of black women who didn't have the best examples in the world to learn from. And because of that, them and their children form the part of our race we shake our heads at. But that's more of an environmental thing and doesn't nearly represent the majority of us who come from healthy backgrounds.
I will admit, that there are a lot of black women who look the part but equate material to love. They offer stank attitudes and expectations of a pampered life and want the adoration and the respect in exchange. Again, that's more of an environmental thing, and doesn't represent the majority of us who come from healthy backgrounds.

I don't think there are set characteristics that belong to a specific race of women anymore. The world has changed, and the two major things that kept the the mars and venus score even, [family and religion] are far from our list of priorities. Trying to say that you can't date a black woman because of... let's call them what they are STEREOTYPES is just silly guys! Especially when there are so many other races that are rolling their necks and pointing their fingers. Just in other ways:

i hope the same trend isn't the same for the ladies....yikes!

Box-less.

Yes, yes, yes, I've had as many jobs as the jamaican's on In Living Color. So what?! I wear many hats. But don't throw me in a box to comfort yourself...

whatever it is... I'LL BE THAT! lol

funniest part= the 'fly' girl crashing into the car

moral of the story= don't try to be something you're not!

BITCHY POST! (BP)

i am

TOO OLD

                            to be faking orgasms...