The Other Dark Meat

I have a home boy. Who I love to debate with. Because he always has a response that will make you reach back into your own personal almanac [of random but relevant information] just to keep up with the conversation. Daily I can rely on him to say something that will prompt that subject for our lunch meeting. The topic usually being men vs. women, with each of us representing our personal sides. There's talk of our recent relationships, jokes about pop culture, discussions on world issues, networking our resources, and a couple of flare ups... where we have to change the subject before someone loses an eye!

Even though we mostly agree to disagree, we both consider ourselves a part of the small percentage of people who still view the dynamics between men and women in a traditional way. I was telling him about a conversation I had with a male interest of mine. We had finally gotten to the point where we felt comfortable for me to spend the night, and during our conversation [and my preparation], I had mentioned that I was wrapping my then, pressed hair. This black man proceeded to tell me that if I wasn't going to sleep in his bed with a scarf on my head. At first I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but after listening to the frankness in his voice... I knew it was no joke. I laughed a little and proceeded to ask if he had a satin pillow case. His answer was no. Again, this was no joke. WTF?

I've seen comments on twitter and heard things from black men over the years about the things they don't like about black women. I've heard complaints that range from our appearance and beauty routines, to our bodies. Which I find, a little hurtful, because I am a black woman, and a little ridiculous because it's so contradictory. I'm not bashing on the men who decide to date outside of their race because they honestly have a connection, I'm talking to the men who think that any other race is better to date          than a black woman. I've read articles in magazines about black men going in groups to places like Rio de Janeiro and the Dominican Republic, to pay for sex from a voluptuous woman who makes these transactions everyday.
When I encounter one of these guys or find myself being told "why I can't date a black girl [me]", I can't help but to ask why. What is it about a black woman that makes it so difficult to love everything about us? The general consensus is mostly:

•  our 'attitude', and the size of it [which I really think refers to our temper or tolerance]
• our inability to "shut the fuck up" [but I don't think anyone would after being asked like that]
• the lack of domestic skills [which most of us hide because the concept of dating is a joke]
• presentation [wearing boy shorts, heels, full make up, and fresh hair just cause takes time away from completing other things and takes a lot of money! and most of y'all opinion of 'fine' is warped]

They go on to tell me how they need a Latin or Asian woman because they're the "type that know how to treat a man'. Or give me the cliche comment about them producing "pretty babies". True, it's more common in their culture for the woman to play a more submissive role in their relationship. And they are taught things like cooking and how to keep a house early. But most of these women I'm describing live in the smaller cities that surround the major ones. Women who grew up in multi member families in small facilities with the dream of being the one who moves out of their neighborhood to live well, and not because they found love. Please believe, the modern Latin, White, Asian, and Indian woman has the ability of producing just as much 'tude as we.

I will admit, that there are a lot of black women who didn't have the best examples in the world to learn from. And because of that, them and their children form the part of our race we shake our heads at. But that's more of an environmental thing and doesn't nearly represent the majority of us who come from healthy backgrounds.
I will admit, that there are a lot of black women who look the part but equate material to love. They offer stank attitudes and expectations of a pampered life and want the adoration and the respect in exchange. Again, that's more of an environmental thing, and doesn't represent the majority of us who come from healthy backgrounds.

I don't think there are set characteristics that belong to a specific race of women anymore. The world has changed, and the two major things that kept the the mars and venus score even, [family and religion] are far from our list of priorities. Trying to say that you can't date a black woman because of... let's call them what they are STEREOTYPES is just silly guys! Especially when there are so many other races that are rolling their necks and pointing their fingers. Just in other ways:

i hope the same trend isn't the same for the ladies....yikes!