We've all had one. Someone that we considered a "friend" that gives mediocre advice and is never really there when you need them. They laugh at your jokes and get you comfortable enough to share your problems; play both sides of the fence with your enemies, most of the time resulting in betrayal and a 'falling out'. The basis of the friendship usually revolves around a social scene. An environment where "who likes you" can contribute greatly in advancement. These people who fall under this category
do what they feel is necessary to make their lives easier, even if it involves backhanded behavior and compromised ethics. One thing to remember is
THERE IS NO LOYALTY!
what so ever.
Recently, I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine about one of our mutual frenemies. We had been involved in more than just hanging out and phone conversations with the person in question. We were all once considered family after spending so much time together over the years. We've all shared the same space [in one form or another] and have ran a small business venture as well in the past. We've been there for some of each other's life changing happenings and have shared things with each other we wouldn't want anyone else to know. But in exchange for a come up, my good friend and I, were betrayed and obviously are still being bad mouthed, in order to save someone else's face. After having time to obsess and process the anger I had towards my former friend, hearing that she was still up to the same trifling antics, I remembered
THERE IS NO LOYALTY!
what so ever with these kind of people. So I shrugged and couldn't help but hope that, seeing she's the mother of 2 young children, will grow up. And realize you can't "win" by shitting on other people. Being honest with yourself is the first step to your own freedom!
I remember meeting a young woman during my myspace days who was a college student and was interested in becoming a dancer. She reached out to me and would ask my opinion on certain things and over time, we became friends. From afar. I remember talking to her on the phone one day, she was really upset about an outing to a club with some girls she really didn't know the night before. After hearing that her over all experience was a bad one, I explained what a "frenemie" was. Since she had never heard of one. This common use of manipulation and betrayal is huge among women. I'm not too sure if this happens with guys but I guess these days anything is possible and the characteristics could be seen as universal. Since these people are usually pretty good liars, and it's kind of hard to initially tell them apart from actual friends, these are some things to look out for when bringing someone new into your circle:
- they're usually single, but are the most vocal in giving you advice about your relationship...which ends up to be bad
- they switch circles of friends often
- casually use the term "bff"
- miss events in your life that matter but are first in line when you have connections in VIP
- doesn't mention their goals or dreams often, if at all
- withhold information from you if they know it will benefit them
- they will spread rumors to discredit you
I've had two frenemies in the past few years leave my life. One dates an actor, the other, an athlete. Even though we live in big cities, the same small circles still exist. The funny thing now is that after they've lost the only real friends they had and have gained frenemies of their own, they're not too happy....
she's a bitch, isn't she?
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