Deuces

I was recently employed as a bartender and server at an up and coming restaurant just outside the western perimeter of Atlanta for the past six months. I won't go into detail of the name or actual location, as the softy in me doesn't want to be the reason why anyone else is going through hard times. So yes, for the time being I chose to protect those who have wronged me.
I didn't know that during the first week of me working there,
my female manager had already observed, evaluated, and therefore placed me into the pile she felt I should have been. Seeing how she is an older woman, and appears to be mature and evolved, she should know better. Seeing how she is involved with the owner of the restaurant and we all know office romances don't turn into anything real, she should know better. Seeing how the basis of hire is attitude, looks, then skill... she should know better. But apparently, she didn't and chose to use something as petty as my previous profession as a stripper as a 'stumbling block'.
At first, I began opening most of the slower days, causing me to be the only person to make drinks, answer to-go orders, and serve all the lunch rush customers in the building. Then, during the end of the week, I would be the closing bartender. The pace was everything was faster than I was used to, but I didn't complain and before you knew it, was doing my part helping new employees get comfortable. There had been several times when I was called in on my off day, because another employee couldn't make it. I had customers calling to see if I was working that evening, customers who regularly sat in my section, and I won over any female customer who is usually used to service with an attitude. After an argument over sections with the same manager, my name was taken off of the bartender schedule all together and I was never told the reason why.
I did everything I felt I could to be successful working at that place. But let's face it: my manager's "boyfriend" is a strip club connoisseur who's reputation proceeds himself. I can't mention the name of his restaurant around a group of strippers without one of them going in to great detail about him "breaking them off". He makes everyone who works for him feel comfortable to contact him on his cell phone in case we have a work issue, but he's a flirt. And we've all been a target at some point and time of our 'career' there. We've even seen him invite his lady friends in during lunch, their stay usually ends in the office with the door locked...
Some women can access this to be the fault of their cheating boyfriend, and not the fault of other women. Needless to say, my former manager doesn't think like that. A woman in her unique situation, where she feels she has to defend her position, pulls out the claws and holds on for dear life.
After the talk of my moonlighting became old news, some of the other girls let their guards down enough to get to know me. Mostly they would see me smiling, joking around with my cooks, dancing lightly to the music, or rushing up and down isles with random items stuffed in my apron. I continued to take my publicly known demotion in stride and played as an example, causing others to step their game up as well. By the time I left, the concept of teamwork was obvious... but the bullshit and low pay (on my end) remained. My energy level was low and I was tired of trying to prove myself to people who didn't care to know who I was anyway. Others could notice the change from behind the scenes, and began to provide information that lead me to my current resignation. Seeing that I "wasn't as bad" as others were trying to make me out to be, I learned that my desperate manager had got lax around too many people and expressed that she was "going to do what she had to, to run me off". Do whatever she felt she could to make me seem incompetent to others,  or make my experience so bad, that I quit. She's gone as far as to tell me what kind of person she thinks I am and has told me that she "never would have hired me, if she knew that I was a (former) stripper." All in the name of love for a man who obviously doesn't respect their "relationship". Or he would claim it proudly and she wouldn't have to work as much...

Anyway, this post is called 'Deuces' for a couple of reasons. The song has been my secret anthem since I heard it at work. The song is obviously Chris Brown's comeback message for his failed relationship with Rhianna, and his coming to terms with why it had to end. Some relationships are straight poison. Beating on a person's psyche, taking away the part that makes it easier to grow. I could hear the pain in what he was saying about trying to love someone:

"all that bullshit is for the birds,

you ain't nothin' but a vulture.

always hoping for the worse,

waiting for me to fuck up..."

and translated it to my own love/hate relationship with my job. I figured that my failure was already determined, and it would only be a matter of time before the thin string they had me on would give way. I, for one, can't go out like that. Working for people who abused their position and who ultimately didn't want me there wasn't my style. So I gave her and whoever else she had convinced that this "bad girl" can and will leave.
Staying involved in a drama filled and unfulfilling situation is not the move. It can cause a warped sense of self worth and be detrimental to your emotional and physical health.  I believe in giving 100% and giving things a fair chance, but I am no fool. So yes, I quit. I'm on some new shit... chuck up the deuces.