Social Networks are the Devil!

This past month has been crazy you guys! The business side of things seem to be consistent for the most part but my emotional house is all jacked up! My shy nature keeps my circle small and my drama to a minimum but I guess it was just in my stars to end smack dab in some mess... eventually. I have been noticing platforms like twitter, myspace, and facebook becoming the topic of conversation in talk shows; being blamed for the reason friendships and relationships end for a couple of years now. I personally gave up my myspace page after a local 'mean girl' used me to became initiated into the legion of internet gangsters years ago. The whole experience turned a place where I found entertainment and met new people into a pain in the ass and something I avoided all together. After that, I joined facebook to stay connected with my huge family and past classmates from my previous high school. Even though that page has been established since 2007, I hardly use it, and am thinking about seriously putting it on total lock down after a person I didn't know tried to ask me out. Twitter started out of pure boredom. I was newly single, with a new phone, at a new job that didn't require me to do a whole lot (considering it's slow day shift). I began finding people who I knew's pages and through them met a group of genuine people. I started opening up a little bit more and instead of it being something that I used to make fun of, I was encouraging non-tweeters to sign up. Things were going smooth for the first 2 years, then last month happened...

I was being foolish, oblivious to every game there are rules, and rule number 1 is: never put any personal information about your relationship on your time line! Well, technically I spoke generally, but non the less, I had a lonely follower who bit on my bait of depression. Me and this guy began exchanging friendly messages back and forth, with him being the initiator. He would say things that were encouraging, involving God and what not, and ask me what happened between and Mr. Even though he did his best trying to pump me for information, I'm a loyal person. And I'm no fool. All contact stopped before the apple dropped to bring the New Year in. Me and Mr. were back "on" and went on living our lives. Roughly in about April, I began to see him mention me on his timeline... "hey, it's been decades... what you been up to?" would randomly appear and I would continue to ignore his existence. One day, my Mr. decided to shout me out on twitter. Something that I always was on the fence about because to me, love on a social network is like blood in the ocean: the sharks and any other ruthless creature will definitely come from nowhere to feast. But pride, being the two sided coin it is, took over and I lovingly obliged. Little did I know that this dude on the sidelines would see this and get so irrationally angry at the whole situation.

 Seeing how at least 4 months had passed since last we talked...

But home boy caught feelings and began reaching out to Mr, and a slew of other people who followed me and I spoke to on a regular basis. His posts accused me of being promiscuous and scheming. A "trifling" female who needed to be "exposed". The way he went out of his way to make people believe that I hooked up with not only him, but "others" who followed me made me sick. I truly felt violated in the way you would if you were in school getting bullied by an upper class men. Even though we are peers, and I shouldn't have felt any specific way about  his psychotic behavior, I did. I understood that this person was trying to hurt me, and the one who is closest to me. I tried to keep my mind off of it, but every time I attempted to go on like nothing was happening, I couldn't help but check and see what new lies were being posted about me. A nobody who would never do anything like this to anyone else. Eventually, it made me not want to tweet at all, and I was frustrated at the fact that the only thing I (and a few good friends) could do was send emails to twitter, reporting him as spam. To wrap up this long story, the perp's account was deleted and I can breath a little easier about tweeting. But I have definitely learned my lesson O_o

What is it about facebook-ing, myspace-ing, and twitter-ing that makes people forget they have minds? Besides the fact that they're a faceless person on the opposite side of the screen who can be anything that they want to be that is... lol.

It is a guarantee that before I go to sleep at night, I will see or hear about somebody acting a damn fool  on the Internet. Whether it be through shit talking over a bruised ego, setting up dates on walls instead of in boxes, or sharing explicit photos and videos with others. I will say this now: trust no one! When it comes to your personal image... it's everything. These days it seems everything is fair in love and scandal and as petty as it may seem, even a 'special video' made for a mate can be used against you and damage a reputation. And once it's out there, it's out there. It's hard to deny a questionable photo after it has a personal account attached to it, so if recent news of 'Weiner-gate' has taught us anything, you might want to think twice before trying to impress a perfect stranger.

 There are a reported 80% of marriages that have ended up in divorce with cyber cheating being the basis of the split. And since I brought up Wiener, I pose this question:

What should newly pregnant Huma do?

The aid to Hillary Clinton has been holding up pretty well in my opinion, despite all the press. I guess what I mean is, she's maintaining herself; continuing to work instead of breaking down. She has chose the high road. Of course some people say she should leave him. But I think that sentiment is more attributed to his looks, and not so much his actions. It's a fact in America, that the better looking you are, the lesser the crime (lol). We're shallow and I think that was the exact flaw that got him in trouble in the first place. Power does something to a person. Especially a person who isn't used to getting attention about their looks. Perhaps he was really feeling himself, knowing that his wife is 'like this' with Hillary Clinton, he's a (former) U.S. Rep, and he's about to have his first child. On top of that, he had chicks hitting him up on twitter... 

I don't know! lol, I would just hate to see any one's marriage end...for any reason. Regardless, Huma is sticking next to her husband and even though she was not seen next to him during the scandal or his stepping down speech, they have been seen in grocery stores and continue to work on their marriage.

I woke up one day and noticed that people had stopped talking. Well not exactly, written expression had taken over and every one's phone or computer had them (dis)connected to everyone else in the world. The need for personal fulfillment will not be found one day while tweeting, or anyplace online. Let's use good judgement, and remember to change your passwords often! 

"You Look Like..." v.2

Ever since I went natural, I've heard all sorts of references (complimentary and derogatory) to describe the "look" my new hairstyle gives me. One of the more flattering ones is that it reminds some of Rae Dawn Chong.

I had to pause the first time I heard the name.

"Chong... Chong...? Where have I heard that before?"

She wouldn't have by any chance have any relation to the guy in the show 'Cheech and Chong' would she? 

  

Yes!

Not only is she the daughter of actor Tommy Chong, she is an actress who has featured in over 30 films, including my favorite... 'The Color Purple'. And I'm not sure what the movie 'Quest for Fire' is about, but it gives me the impression that she's comfortable with her body, which is something else we have in common.  So once again, I am flattered to be compared to such a gorgeous woman. I can now consider myself to the reincarnated daughter of a pot smoking hippie. Life is good. I started this series to share with you guys my many "twins" of Hollywood... I hope you find them interesting and humorous since 90% of them were mentioned in pick-up lines. Lol.

I Have to DO Something...

I know I haven't posted.

But life's been crazy.

Sounds cliche I know, but it's the truth non the less.

Try to be patient loves.

Till then...

Daddy's Day

Today is "Daddy's" Day.
No, I'm not talking about the one who you cook for, have pillow talk with, and appreciates all your womanly assets. Today is for the "Daddy's" who help with homework, comb hair, and show healthy examples of what a MAN really is. As I reflect today on my Dad, I can't help but think about how much he means to me and how much I miss him. I know all little girls who had their Dad in their life say this but: "my Dad was the best." With all his strengths I gained a sense of safety; knowing that he would take care of any little thing I needed when I needed it. And with his flaws, I realized that even the one you love (or the one who loves you) is only human and if they happen to fall short, it doesn't mean they love you any less. I can only speak on the relationship of Dad's with their little girls and how important it is to have an active father figure growing up. The realization in the dynamic is much more apparent to me now since I am a woman who has my own set of struggles involving the opposite sex. My Dad passed away when I was 16. I had just went on my first "date" maybe 4 months prior and I never had the privilege to have that heart to heart talk with him about what to look for when choosing a man. I imagine what he would say to me on the phone after a bad date, or all the game he would put me up on... I feel the pain from that with every disrespectful man I encounter. There's so many dudes exhibiting horrible behavior that makes so many women believe that finding a good man is hopeless. The ending result of dealing with poor treatment can be quite tragic: a good girl gone bad...  So many women bounce from relationship to relationship anticipating the familiar feel of home. Not necessarily looking for a reincarnated version of your father, but a man who posses the same protecting, providing values that were constantly shown to us fortunate girls growing up. I couldn't imagine the person I would be today if my Dad wasn't in my life, or what my thought process would be like. I am who I am today because of strong men like my Dad, uncles, and Grandfather... thank you all.

 I commend all my Dad's out there who stay active in their children's lives, even when things go sour with the mother.

 And single mothers, please refrain from bad mouthing, or keeping a Dad away from seeing his kids. If he doesn't want to be with you, let it burn and move on. Using the kid as a pawn will not only take away great experiences away from them, but make you look like an entire ass when they grow old enough to learn the truth.

For all the future Dad's of little girls, heed Chris' advice: keep 'em off tha pole! 

ok, now go enjoy your electronics, sports, and big piece of chicken.

"Go Tha F@$! to Sleep!"

ha HA! This one is definitely dedicated to my nieces Zoey (7) and Asha (2) who do all things possible to stay awake when it's time for them to go to sleep. I mean, do they think they're going to miss something after the hour of 9 p.m.? I heard a snippet of this nursery rhyme read by Samuel L. Jackson for the new millennium on  Frank Ski and Wanda morning show.  The lifestyle coach himself Kenny Burns apparently is filling in for Frank and had me jammin' on my ride back from dropping my brother off in Alpharetta might I add.

With the spirit of Pulp Fiction and Afro Samurai, Sam says what parents really want to say to their kids after they've worked the last nerve.... in a loving way of course (lol). Anyway, it made me laugh....

enjoy

Judge Me Tender

I was so inspired by Lady GaGa on 60 minutes last Sunday. I mean, it wasn't exactly what I expected, but it was a pleasant surprise.

Ironically a piece about judgement starts with one... 

When I think "rock and roll" my little brain pictures lots of leather, trashy clothes, cocaine, cigarrette smoke, casual sex, and lewd lyrics. If you catched the entire interview, GaGa didn't disappoint including all the above elements in the 3 months it took to shoot the segment. She showed advance maturity for her (reported) 25 years and remained genuine with her emotions; humble about her celebrity. I noticed how no question seemed to catch her off guard. As if she was expecting to be asked about her sex life, early drug use, and super provocative sense of style. She explained that there are plenty of perceptions about her as a person and an artist. And if you're looking for something to talk about, she's not going to make you dig. She's laying all out for us on a platter. Her music is all about self acceptance and empowering the missundersood. I really appreciated all 12 plus hours of filming for the crew to edit, sharing intimate footage, her first apartment, and her favorite bars. Offering to us her world and life with us.

I feel I can relate so well to this frame of thinking because that's exactly how I feel about my writing. I never wanted to be a "blogger"; sharing elaborate pieces of pure randomness. But throughout the years, I've been in plenty of interesting situations, seen enough drama, and I'm ready to be done with the burdens of judgement from others. It seems that most would be considered guilty of whatever was being said about them in the street. The facts of the matter are irrelevant, and the stigma that serves as entertainment for the masses, is a handicap for the person in question. Writing is my freedom with the blank page playing the playground for my words. I set the tone and beat the critics to what they think they know about me and my current situation(s).


So why air dirty laundry? Why put yourself out there like that? There's a saying that goes: "that which is most personal is most common". As I write my wrongs, I not only forgive myself for poor choices, I help liberate someone else to do the same. I'm not always right, but I don't always fuck up. This is my story. My declaration of personal independence. And I am proud to say: I no longer depend on your judgement.