How to Survive the New Years

Fucking procrastinators, smh I tell ya, I don't know why people wait until December 31st to get their lives together! I know folks got things to do but damn. Why add stress on top of obligation? Don't  mind me, I'm not an asshole, I just joke a lot. I can speak with this kind of confidence because I just stopped caring about countdowns, resolutions, and the lot. Personally, all it does is remind me how old I'm getting, lol. But for most, I know there's a lot of pressure around the holidays: toys for the kids, bomb food for the family, and clothes to club in. Then there's the NEW YEAR!

Yikes. I know. The thought of "starting over" can raise a level of anxiety even the coolest person didn't know existed, but before you beat yourself up by thinking of how bad 2010 was do me a favor and breath! Since stress is the response of actual [mostly imagined] emotional or physical threats, let's find a better way of handling the inevitable.  I hate when people gripe and complain about a situation and offer no solution so I thought of some ways the panicked pron ed can ease their way into 2011. I hope they help...

Christmas Re-Cap

Now that I'm older, the allure of wrapped retail doesn't have the same effect that it once did. These days, it's ALL about the food! When the holiday's roll around, my novice chef of a mother goes all out. Glazing hams, making sauces from scratch, baked goods, the whole nine yards. When I walk through the door and smell Michele's "in demand turkey", I feel all warm and tingly inside. Even though my holiday's had a rocky start, the concept of family balanced out my tortured mind. The morning of Christmas Eve, my mom cooked for her two kids at the same time, for the fist time, in a l   o   n   g time. I've always envisioned myself whipping up smiley face pancakes and tasty fritatas for my future husband and unborn children. My mother has spent her life making this dream for most, a reality for me. Catering to the ones you love is the theme in our family and is the definition of all days special.

"Mom went sausage, egg, AND cheese!"

Pressure Busts Pipes

I had a talk with God in early September, telling Him that I was ready to find love again. You see good people, I had closed my heart shortly after my last mockery of a "relationship" [that I've rationalized doesn't count, lol], even when I told myself I would never let another person's messy-ness change me. I lost that battle and after 2 years of being single, I felt ready. In a matter of days, I was chatting it up with a very attractive guy that I followed on twitter who I affectionately call "Han". I mean, we instantly clicked sharing similar views on religion, family, kids, money, you name it, we shared the same brain. We both discovered that we had both lost parents to cancer in the same year and shared the infinite love of music. I just knew, that God had sent my soul mate through a direct message. I broke all my rules with him:

Get Into It

                   
Maybe this will help some of you get into the holiday spirit. I know it did for me ;)

Dream Deferred

                                           

So I had mentioned a few posts ago that I was going on an extended vacation to a secret location. Lol. I know, so dramatic right? I'm supposed to be working, lounging in a beach chair, smoking exotic weed  
           right  
                                      now! 
But for circumstances that are out of my control, that isn't possible so....

Soul Man

            

I miss R&B music. The kind that laid feelings on the line, and bared their souls in the name of love. The kind of music that made folks want to make babies and that remind me of so many nights of watching my parents slow dance in the kitchen. There's plenty of rhythm, but not enough blues in the 21st century and yeah, I want that "old thing" back. Luckily for those of you that are tired of clubbing in the car, the shower, or desk at work there's a refreshing remedy from an artist we all know.

NO H8

Steve-O for NO H8

NO GAY MARRIAGE!!! 

But for real, who the fuck cares? If a grown man or woman falls in love with the same sex who are we to get in the way of their happiness? Seeing how they're not hurting anyone or themselves, they're not holding back from uncle Sam... what's the beef? "Well, what about morals?" "What about the children?" What about all the children who are in unstable heterosexual households? What about the people who go to church on Sunday but lie, cheat, and steal during the week? Are we really that afraid of a lifestyle that is only different behind closed doors?

On a Jet Plane

I'm leaving.
I've been visiting with my mom and nieces for the past 3 months in Ohio figuring out my next move in life. The 72 acres with a pond and fields of oak tress and flowers was refreshing from city life... at first. But the leaves have been replaced with icicles, the ground is covered in white, and personally, I don't see much of a future working at Wal- Mart. My everyday routine centered around my young nieces schedules, exhausting my little mind as well as stifling my creativity.  But I'm thankful to spend this time with them and thankful I was afforded the space and time to plan what's next.

Boss or Bitch?

I think I've gotten this figured out: men are more emotional than women. Now before you give me my scarlet letter and begin my trial, allow me to elaborate. Ever since the beginning of time, men are allowed to indulge themselves in what ails them and hand out the excuse "a man's going to be a man" like they're flyers to an event. So according to history and shared egotism, man is doomed to be a fuck up. Seeing how making mistake after mistake is expected and all... Double standards make my ass itch, and no matter how many times I ask my male friends why men can do certain things that a woman "can't", the answers are shallow or non existent.

Meeting In The Ladies Room

"there's a meeting in the ladies room"

Ms. Keri has done it again! Providing the clueless men with a self explanatory ditty and encouraging girl power to those who need it most. From the beginning of her career she has shown that you can stress talent while still maintaining your sexy side. Penning the R&B hits '4 Minutes' for Avant and 'Take Me As I Am' for Mary J. not only solidifies Keri's legitimacy in the music industry, but has made her the unofficial Pretty Girl ambassador;

Bad Girls do Bad Things

"I might be bad but I'm perfectly good at it!" -S&M

Every once in a while, I fall weak and peruse page six and..... to no surprise the fickleness of Hollywood's heart is on the move once again. One thing that has always boggled me when it comes to Hollywood relationships is how quickly they are formed and progressed. Celebs switch out lovers like fitted caps and are not thought any less of. Let a 'regular' chick make the same move and she has "smashed the homies" and is made to seem to be of lower caliber. But I digress...

Apparently, after the recent collaboration of 'Whats My Name' the "bad girl" and the Canadian prince have been spotted in bowling alleys and clubs snuggled; a public couple.

I'm No Fool

When dealing with the average "jump-off" their thought process shouldn't matter... as long as it benefits you. They can be a simple minded somebody wrapped in nice packaging that stay in their time restricted compartment until the tolerance for something deeper comes along. You can call them after 10 pm and always reach them. A restaurant or club is the ideal "date", and some sort of sexual encounter is given in exchange. The single life is made of stuff like that. Drunken nights that are often forgotten with plenty of shenanigans along the way. Its "cute" to be accompanied by that personality that is extreme: quick to get fucked up, quick to fight, quick to fuck.